Wednesday, November 5, 2014

me v social media

I have a love hate relationship with social media, which may be obvious by the title, or my previous rants about it. Now when I say love, I mean 'kinda like' on a good day. There's no warm fuzzy feelings with social media. Not anymore at least.

The first time I was thrust into this world I was astounded. Years before I had found out I wasn't alone, but that was just on forums and chat rooms. Remember chat rooms? Maybe I'm just getting old and my viewpoint is changing, but they aren't the same as they used to be. Neither are abdl forums for that matter, but I digress.

I fell in love with twitter and facebook when I first joined. I actually couldn't wait to join facebook. I was part of the group who, in high school, were dying to get on facebook but couldn't because it was college only. Then I finally got to college and joined 'thefacebook' and I was so excited! I created a group for the college film club I started and actually enjoyed conversing with people. Before I left college, however, it was opened to high school as well, and soon after I was out, it opened up to everyone. I remember it being better when It was college only, but I can't say if it was actually any better. 

I have gotten fed up with and deleted my facebook account 3 times over the years. I either found no real use for it, or thought of it as nothing but trouble. In fact, I still think of it as almost nothing but trouble. I never post anything to it that isn't a picture of video of my daughter, which I also have slight reservations about. But If I didn't have her, I would probably never use it, and possibly delete it again. Although, living 2600 miles from home, it does make it easier to keep in touch with family. That being said, one main reason for my distaste of facebook stems from my family.

My family is uber religious, and I am not. Unfortunately, my mother still wants me to be uber religious, and my large extended uber religious family isn't helping things. They hounded me for not baptizing my first daughter, and I'm expecting the same reaction with my second. My mother frequently posts religious things to my timeline, which I can only assume is a piss poor way to guilt me back into the faith. For example, she posted a picture of the saint I chose at my confirmation and told me to remember that I chose him... She wrote other things, but I stopped reading.

When it comes to twitter, I actually have 3 accounts. I have 2 vanilla accounts and 1 abdl account. I still don't really know if I like it. There's days when I get lost in my timeline for hours, and I just want to spend all day talking with people. Then there's days when I log in, see a bunch of diaper or furry related posts and just turn it off. The more I think about it, the more it hearkens back to the old binge and purge cycle that we all know too well.

Those times when I open twitter, see all that abdl friendly content, and close it immediately, I'm actually getting a little disgusted with myself. Yes I still feel like this; I think I'll always feel like this. It's crazy how I can go from craving diaper time to thinking it's disgusting in the same day. I've gotten a lot better over the years, and having a wife who indulges me is a major help. I love it when she tells me to pad up, or lays me down on the bed and does it for me. But I'm way off topic.

I'll have to stop this here, but I have so much more to say! I'll write a follow up article in the near future which will include some stuff I haven't talked to anyone about before. Until then!