the greatest joy

My mother has told me this a few times now, and it definitely rings true. She's been asked many times in her life if she would ever go back to a time before she had kids. A time when life was simpler and you had the freedom to do whatever you wanted to without worrying about who will take care of your baby or how or what your child is doing. Her response is a resounding "That's a stupid question." I now know exactly what she's talking about.

My daughter was born back in June and she may only be 8 weeks old, but I can't imagine her not being here, nor do I want to. The past 8 weeks have been such an amazing journey of discovery and patience...lots of patience... I've wanted to get started on this journey for as long as I can remember, and I can finally say, I have not been disappointed. The transformation over the past 2 months has been truly amazing to watch, especially over the past couple weeks. 

Recently, she started to really interact with us. She always kind of did, but she had a glazed over kind of look, since she could only see a couple feet at best. I could write a book on the stuff I've learned about babies that I never new before; for instance, their eyes aren't fully developed when they're born so they can only see basically the distance from the boobs to the eyes of their mother. Babies have hair all over their bodies when they're in the womb, then they swallow it shortly before birth, and those messy diapers are really weird looking... 

Now when my coworkers ask me what I did over the weekend, or the night before, I usually have the same answer. "Watched the baby."

I could watch her all day. It's amazing to watch her squirm around and pause briefly as a flicker of light catches her eye. And let me tell you, if there's a bit of light in her field of view, she's gonna find it, and she's gonna stare at it for a LONG time. It's so cute when she does too. It's so cute when she makes little faces that scream "What the hell was that!" or "There's something wrong with you."

It's only been 8 weeks, but it's been an amazing 8 weeks that I wouldn't trade for the world.

april update

Life has really gotten away from me. I've been busy getting ready for the new arrival and work has picked up a bit as well. I attended an infant CPR class last week that was definitely an interesting experience. I never took CPR before so learning it in the first place was pretty cool, but spending 2 hours talking about and giving CPR to infant and child dummies was...strange. It's an invaluable skill though, that I'm so glad I know, but hope I never have to use.

As for work, my boss got me a lynda membership which has been unbelievably beneficial. Lynda is a website with tens of thousands of professional videos teaching you just about everything about just about every piece of technology.  They cover still and video shooting and editing, content creation with after effects, photoshop, etc. along with computer programming and countless other topics.

I was joking on twitter the other day that using this website feels like being in the Matrix, minus the neck holes. I have a big  project that's due in June where I have to design the CD cover, sleeve and disc art for this big annual meeting. I have less than a year of experience with photoshop and after effects, but my boss said that Illustrator would be the best program for this project. (Being a film guy I have no idea about this stuff) So I searched lynda for something on Illustrator and it responds big time!

"You need to know Illustrator? Well here's an 8 hour course teaching you everything you need to make just about anything. All you need to do is supply the creativity!"

"Ok!" I said in an excited tone.

I really want to get back into story writing...

I keep telling myself that I want to be a writer. I want to create an entire world and make everyone come to life. I probably need a good idea first though huh...

an amazing adventure

It still amazes and slightly scares me that I will soon be a father.

Sometimes I wish I could write one sentence blog posts sometimes because my mind is so amazed by what the future holds, that I have no idea what to say.

I've always wanted a family. That probably stems from growing up in a wonderful and loving home with two parents who barely ever fought, and who are still married almost 30 years later. This of course does fly in the face of what a lot of people claim to be the cause of my affinity for diapers. I have always done things my own way though, so I'm not surprised, not to mention how it's all speculation anyway.

So at this stage in the game, we have a crib/changing table and dresser built and in place in the baby's room. Seeing all of that was a big thing for me. Obviously I knew my wife was pregnant and she was showing a bit at that point, but to see the furniture in the room was awesome. There was finally a material connection between us and our baby. Now we have a stroller and clothes and other odds and ends scattered throughout the house that I can't wait to use! I can't wait to meet our baby and take her out on walks and show her the world.

We're over half way to the start of an amazing adventure that I can't wait to begin!

roommate

Our friend finally left today! You may be able to tell that I am a bit excited. Now, don't get me wrong, he's a good friend but, we quickly discovered that we can't live with him. Basically, he reminds us of our old roommate. Starting at about day 3 of his 5 day stay he sat on the couch and never got up. He played my Xbox all day and didn't really pay attention to us. At least we were able to get him out of the house a couple times to eat.

My wife and I wonder how we ever found each other. For both of us, any one of our friends becomes incredibly annoying after a short period of time. For instance, we've had a few friends over for parties and such and, after a few hours, can't wait for them to leave. We got sick of our roommates in Florida and Rhode Island. The my RI roommates were really good friends of mine too, let's just say we haven't spoke in almost 3 years now. My wife and I are generally surprised that after over 7 years together, my wife and I never got sick of each other.

Well I didn't really want to spend the entire post complaining about friends and past roommates but, I guess I did.

Oh wait, one big thing about our friend finally leaving is that I get to pad up again! I was already in the middle of a big diaper craving for some reason and adding the stress of a big project at work to the mix was all sorts of bad. With my friend over I couldn't diaper up so there was no release. At least now I can find some time to relax over the next couple days and hopefully this work project will finally come to fruition. 

little circle of trust

Life has been crazy lately. Our baby is growing and, thankfully, my wife is more than half way through the pregnancy and is feeling much better over all. My job has been crazy and super stressful lately which has led to a much higher than normal craving for diaper time, which isn't necessarily a bad thing. Of course, joking about diapers all weekend with my best friend didn't help either, which leads me to today's topic.

Last Thursday morning one of my best friends came down from the east coast for a long weekend. If you are keeping score, this is the friend who I told all about my DL side a year ago on Thanksgiving. Wow I just realized how long it's been... Was it really that long...?

Yeah, so anyway. I took a 4 day weekend and picked him up Thursday morning. It only took until Friday for the diaper references and jokes to come out. Honestly, I loved every minute of it. It feels great to have people in my life who I can be completely open with. Sometimes I wish there were more than just 3 people, but there isn't anyone else right now who I feel should know. Or maybe I should say,there isn't anyone else who would take it well and not break our friendship.

I guess you could say, you don't really know what would happen without just doing it and, while that is true, some bit of strategic planning is necessary. I definitely can't just go tell everyone because there will be negative reactions, and it will affect my life and my growing family. I will say though, it does feel easier and I feel more confident opening my self up to others. I may meet someone in the future who I want to bring into my little circle of trust but, as for now, I can't think of anyone else.

fatherhood

Ok that subject may have been too descriptive but it's true. I'm going to be a father! My wife is pregnant, several months along now actually. We are both so excited to finally start raising a family!

Needless to say, between the new addition to my family and my new job, it's been a busy could months. Speaking of which, my new job is going well so far. It's finally something I enjoy doing so it's great to get paid for it. It has been stressful lately and I have been under a lot of pressure to be perfect but it's ok. I'll survive.

How have all of you been? I really wish I kept up with this blog but things always get in the way. I have been living in southern California for over 6 months now and I really enjoy it, of course I have yet to make it to a munch. There is one tomorrow night but I'm gonna pass this one up. I really want to go next month though, hopefully.

Until then. Thank you for reading!