Sunday, June 26, 2011

reflecting on my first year of marriage

So it's been a year already! One thing I can say is that it went by so fast! If you're about to get married, please take some time in the middle of all the action to breath. There’s a lot of stuff going on around you and if you don't take a minute to soak it all in, you will miss something. There are actually a few things I didn't get to do and a few things I missed out on but I don’t regret any of it.

My first year of marriage was actually a very successful one. My wife and I never fought much in the 4.5 years we dated before our wedding day and that streak continued. That's not to say we never fought, but we mesh so well that there is little we differ on enough to bring up a fight. But the last thing you should ever do is keep something inside with the sole purpose of avoiding an argument. As I'm sure you’ve heard over and over again, whether you are married or just dating, you should never go to bed angry at your boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse.

But I digress, I wanted to write this to post as a learning experience. I wanted this to be a collection of things I did right and things I did wrong so that others could learn a thing or two and avoid potential headaches. But alas, I am at a loss. Like I said before, my wife and I barely ever fight. We lived together for 4.5 years before we got married and we were able to work things out in that time so the actual marriage has been a breeze.

One of the best pieces of advice I can share with you is be very conscious of what your partner is thinking. They may not be telling you exactly what they are feeling with words, but their body language should tell all. If they are not very vocal, like me, you need to be clear with them that if you do something they don’t like, they must tell you so that things can change. It’s far better to have a discussion right then and there rather than having it bottle up inside and explode 10x worse down the line.

So after another year of growing and maturing our relationship to a point of relative harmony, I can say with certainty that I found my soul mate. I had that feeling as soon as we started dating and it has only gotten better. We have a long bumpy road ahead of us, however, with her going to boot camp in November for 8 weeks and then off to San Diego for 6 months. But with a little luck I’ll at least be able to join her in California, of course until that gets settled it will still mean more time apart. What is getting me through all this is just thinking about my love for her and how great it will be to be reunited again.


  1. First of all, congradualtions on this step in your Marrige. I have been married for a little over two years now. Time sure does fly when you are not getting caught up in the little things. We also very rarely argue over anything. We talk things out logically and try to keep the excess drama out or out time together. This gives me an idea for the Maturing process that has taken place in the relationship my wife and I share. With me in the Military and her doing getting a PHD in Biochemistry we are very busy and often separate. Thanks for sharing. -Vash

  2. And thank you for commenting Vash! SInce my wife joined the Navy I fully expect to have a lot of time apart in the future. We'll see how that tests our marriage.