directions

I'm just into the 4th year of my personal endeavor into blogging, and I still haven't done a post about why I'm doing this and what I want to get out of it, so here it goes.

I started this blog in November 2010 with a simple purpose, to explain what infantilism means to me by way of personal experiences and stories. Back then, figuring out why I am the way I am was very important. I would spend countless hours researching ABs and DLs and infantilism. I would watch every video I could find about the subject, from Jerry Springer to the Secret Lives of Women, which is an good program about a little girl and fellow blogger Baby Ella. I even used that video to help explain all of this to my now wife.

As time went on I found it less important to figure out why I am the way I am, as if I was a broken person. Trying to figure that out implies that there is a normal way to be, and I was not it. I think there's anything but normal people out there. Everyone has weird things they enjoy, mine just happen to be a little less mainstream than most people. 

So I started this yeas ago to basically find myself, now what? Well my personal goal for this blog has morphed over the years. I wanted to help people. I started talking with some of my readers who were having a hard time coping with this side of them. I was trying to make a name for myself. When my wife entered boot camp I stopped writing. I was able to put up a few posts here and there, mostly stuff I pre-wrote, but I lost my motivation. I was actually deep in some serious depression, to the point that participating in my blog, the thing that brought me a lot of happiness, was too much. I eventually got back to writing, but it has never been the same. 

Now that I have 2 kids and a busy job, it's a different story. My main reason for big breaks in my writing is a lack of time. Computer related things that I used to do at home, have to be squeezed into my last bits of free time at work, and blogging has taken a back seat. I miss it though. The amount of responses I've gotten back from people who read my previous post, and first post since November, has been amazing. You guys make me want to continue writing. I love being part of this community, and I wish I could do more. In fact, there's lots of things I wish I could do now, but being a good father is tops. So if I have a few more long breaks in writing, it's not that I'm leaving you all, it's just that I'm trying to be the best dad I can be, and that's more important to me than anything in the world.