Thursday, December 2, 2010

The night I told my wife

So, the night I told my wife...that was a big night. She was my fiancée at the time and I know, I really should have told her before giving her the ring but I just couldn't. As many of you probably know, it is extremely hard to tell people of your secret life. I was haunted by... maybe haunted isn't the right word...but I can't think of anything else so, haunted it is. I was haunted by stories from other ABs and DLs of when they told their significant others. It seems like almost every story I read was negative. The only positive outcomes to telling a significant other came from fictional stories in the forums. Needless to say, I wasn't looking forward to telling her. I even contemplated never telling her, but I knew deep down inside that I had to eventually.

I was psyching myself up to tell her. I was reading story after story looking for positive outcomes to make me feel better. Scenes would play in my mind of what she would say, both good and bad. But, in fairness, they were almost all bad. They always ended with her breaking up with me or being secretively a DL as well, there was never a middle ground. My dreams, however, were never as complex as reality so I wasn't exactly prepared for what happened.

It started over a year ago, March 26, 2009. How exactly do I know the date you ask? For some reason everything happens to us on the 26th, I'll have to go into more detail about that later, it's kind of weird...moving on. March 26th 2009, it was a Thursday. I had been getting ready to share my deepest and darkest secret with the woman I loved, the woman I would marry in 15 months. It was a long engagement, 23 months in total, why so long? 23 months after I asked her to marry me June 26th fell on a Saturday, we had to be married on a 26, again, I’ll explain later, back to the story.

What I haven’t told you all yet is that I had been looking for and storing pictures of diapered adults, mostly girls, on my hard drive for as long as I can remember. I have quite a large collection now and back then I would still enjoy looking at my collection. They are to this day still hidden in a random folder deep in my hard drive where one couldn’t possibly accidently discover, or so I thought.

On March 26th, I came home from work as usual to find her home as usual, but something wasn’t right. We had been together for almost 3 years so I knew when something was on her mind, not that she hides it very well anyway.

“What’s wrong?” I asked.

“I need to show you something.” She replied. My heart sank as we walked into the bedroom. Somehow I knew what was coming next. “Earlier I was trying to save my paper for class and I found this on your computer.” She walked right over to my computer, pulled up ‘My Computer’ and went right to my hiding spot. “Why do you have pictures of girls wearing diapers on your computer?”

I didn’t know what to say, I opened my mouth but nothing came out. I sat down the bed.

“I need to know the truth.” She said, standing in front of me.

“I… like it.” Not the best choice of words but with my mind racing it was all I could come up with.

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